Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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