Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
bring money and cleavage
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
