Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
