drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
