stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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