So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
