3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Randomize
