Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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