Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
