he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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