so explain again why im purple
no
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
