no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
