first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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