I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My bed smells like the plague
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