Got a toothbrush?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
