Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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