Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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