Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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