last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
