carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
