I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
