Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
