JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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