Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
