i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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