i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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