You're completely useless in the revolution.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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