Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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