getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
i think i just lost a toe
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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