I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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