i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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