can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
