WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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