Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
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