A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize