everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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