so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Pooping to opera.
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