Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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