I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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