Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Randomize
