I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
