SEEEEXXX PLEASE
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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