ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
