so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
