Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
