my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize