Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
