Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Are my feet made of real feet?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
