we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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