My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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