i will never coherently bang her
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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