she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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