You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
