he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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