They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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