i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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