So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
