She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize