JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
